We Are Too Blinded by Our Own Spotlight
Got a defeating inner voice that holds you back? Here's a remedy for you.
I remember how scared I was when I hit publish and shared my writing online for the first time more than a year ago, as if there was an enormous burden on my head to hit the "enter" button when I was sitting at my work desk in my room, feeling reluctant to publish.
I didn't want to tell the world how terrible I was at communicating my ideas online. I didn't want to let the world know how stupid I was at understanding what it means to live with more intention. I became more insecure when I asked some friends to visit and read my substack to find out that my topic was entirely off the rails. A huge battle inside my head told me to stop, but my heart wanted to continue.
A whisper in my ears commanded me to abandon writing online and keep my ideas to myself:
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Owh, you want to sound wise and mature."
"You just want attention but have no idea what you are talking about."
Despite the whispers, I kept moving on.
After a year of consistent writing, I increased my writing frequency monthly to weekly right here on my substack. Hitting publish feels so light. Some of my friends were avid readers who appreciated my writing, and this encouraged and motivated me to keep going. Writing has helped me to gain a better understanding of myself and various topics. Whenever I learn something new, I feel compelled to express it creatively in writing. This helps me lighten the burden and brings me a sense of relief and clarity.
Sometimes, I am afraid to do the things that I know are important to me but keep putting things off because of judgment by people around me; it can be family, parents, friends, colleagues, managers, and even my childhood friend with whom I have not spoken for more than 10 years. Or, it can be Tom who puts me on the chain and prevents me from doing something important just because I let myself listen to him. The opinions and thoughts of others often play tricks on my mind, making me feel unworthy of pursuing my goals and dreams.
How do we free ourselves from other people's opinions to do what we are meant to do?
First, we must acknowledge that no one in this endless galaxy thinks of us more than we think about ourselves. We are too busy thinking about ourselves, our flaws, struggles, jealousy, and insecurities to care about anyone else and their businesses. In fact, I couldn't even recall the last time I thought about what my friends did for themselves that consumed my mind.
We believe we live in our prime-time television show, with the spotlight always on us. Stop acting like we are the center of the universe. We are so busy thinking about ourselves that we're usually too blinded by our spotlight to stare at anyone else.
As Alex Hormozi said:
"You are not afraid of failing. You are afraid of what other people think of you if you fail, but imagine what they think of you when you aren't even trying.
Oh, right, they aren't."
The first wall always feels heavy to overcome because I need to develop strength. However, as I face it more often, it becomes easier and more manageable over time. The inner voice may not disappear entirely. Whenever I try something different or new, the voice still judges me. It wishes for my failure, hoping I will give up and return to wherever it tells me where I belong.
But what makes the current situation different is that I have evidence that I can do it and that pursuing the things I care about is worthwhile.
Way to get this out there, Wyndo!