Useful, but Not True: How to Break Free From the Matrix of Your Beliefs
Imagine what we could become if we fine-tune our beliefs to only those that truly serve us.
Recently, I listened to a podcast between Tim Ferris and Derek Sivers that blew my mind. Almost everything we see and experience in this world is not true but merely the subjective experience of human beings. Growing up, we have these internal beliefs wired in our subconscious that shape our thoughts and actions. These beliefs are the product of society, parents, environment, and genetics, which almost all are untrue and can be bent.
After Neo's (The Matrix) long battles dodging bullets and fighting off enemies, he comes to the realization that all of his adversaries are nothing more than lines of code meant to oppose him.
The general premise of "Useful But Not True" is that we can hold a belief that is not true as long as it serves our personal growth.
Here are four frameworks of Useful But Not Tue from Derek Sivers:
Almost nothing is objectively true
Suppose you are reading this article on your phone. In that case, it is a true fact you are indeed holding your phone and scrolling through the screen at the tip of your thumb while lying on the bed or waiting for food to come at the restaurant. But, if I tell you I am a strong person, you know I might be lying to you, or it's just a belief I hold now, which is not true.
Some other examples which are not true include:
Family is Everything.
My mother abandoned me.
I have the best job in the world.
AI is the future.
Life is unfair.
I am an anxious person.
Your partner is super smart.
Most people think of these as if it's true. Furthermore, some people might hold a belief that they would have been more successful if they had not lived in their home country or had to take care of their parents or kids. People say these things to themselves as if it's indisputably a true fact without realizing it can hold them back from their true potential.
Imagine those who believe that "Family is Everything" may expect their children to take care of them in the future. Would this affect your perception of the belief?
As Derek says:
"Everything else is just a mental interpretation and projection. Just because you hold a belief doesn't mean it is true.”
Beliefs are placebos.
Imagine you are on a boat with your partner.
She/he said, "This sucks!" while you say, "This is great!"
But neither statement is true.
Sucks and great are just subjective experiences of a person. The same case applies if you got laid off from work. A person can say, "My life will be ruined," and another can say, "Good, now I think I can rest and focus on things that matter to me."
Again, neither statement is true.
Belief is just another programming code that can be implemented, improved, fixed, or removed from our brains.
One way to notice it is to listen closely to those who say, "I believe..."
When an individual says, "I believe..." It's an indicator that the following words will not be true. For example, "I believe that I am a temperamental person." The statement is not true. Unless it is objectively true, such as "I am writing this article using a keyboard," then it is a fact and not just a belief.
People don't use "I believe" for objectively true statements.
No one comes to a meeting room saying, "I believe this is a laptop."
Since there are no inherently true beliefs, we have the freedom to choose whichever beliefs help us achieve our goals. We don't have to hold onto a belief forever; it can be beneficial to hold it for a short period, such as five minutes, a day, or even a month, as long as it serves our purpose.
Rules and norms are arbitrary games that can be changed
This explains what society and norms tell us to do. For example, to be perceived as successful, you need to graduate from college, work for a corporation for 30+ years, be married and have kids, have cars and houses, and retire at 60. Or work at prestigious companies.
These are just norms that happen to be accepted by most people, but again, they are not true.
Some examples include:
To be the best in the field, you must get an MBA.
You need to raise money from a VC to build a successful company.
You must be an extremely talented basketball player to compete in the NBA.
You need to be highly qualified to get a job.
You have to work at the office to be productive.
Once we recognize these rules and norms made by some people, we will be liberated from having to follow some rules that don't serve us anymore.
Some rules in Japan will be different than in the U.S.
Some rules in a family of four children from a small village will be different than the rules in a family of one child in a big city.
Some rules in a company will be different from others.
It is a game-changer when individuals identify rules that work for them and discard those that no longer serve them.
We may be able to bend the rules to suit our needs, but it is important to remember to keep them intact. Rules exist to create and maintain order; disregarding them completely would be unwise. Instead, we should cautiously approach rule-making and rule-following, considering the potential risks and benefits.
Refuse ideology and accept ideas individually.
Regular newsletter readers can assume I am a Stoic because I have written three articles about Stoicism. Still, I don't follow some parts of what Stoic teaches.
I love what Stoic teaches, especially handling hard days and focusing on things we can control. But I find it hard to suppress my emotions sometimes.
Truth is, I am not particularly following any idealogy, including religion. As an individual, I can live better if I don't label myself on a certain idealogy rather than a person who absorbs multiple ideas from multiple ideologies to navigate life.
I like to imagine this idea of sailing:
On my journey to explore the world from my hometown, my parents, neighbors, and friends may have put some items on my boat to ensure my survival during months and years of sailing. These items could have included food, drinks, and clothes. However, during the journey, I realized I only needed a little food or some clothes that no longer fit me due to weight gain. So, I had to dispose of them to make space for my preferred new clothes. Some of the food had gone bad, so I had to restock and find new foods I liked. I also had to renovate some parts of my boat due to the waves hitting it. I needed to modify my boat to prepare for major storms and waves that could endanger me. When I have collected more money, I may buy a new boat so that the new people I meet can accompany me on my new adventure. This goes on and on.
Essentially, it's about figuring out what ideas can be a tool I use to help me navigate life to achieve the goal.
Let it sink in
I write this article as an encouragement to critically evaluate the beliefs that populate your mind.
Are they serving you, or are they hindrances masquerading as truths?
Remember, the power to redefine your reality lies within your ability to choose beliefs that empower you, foster growth, and enhance your journey through life.
Be cautious with the ideologies you subscribe to, and embrace the freedom to accept ideas individually based on their utility in your personal narrative.
In doing so, you not only navigate life with a more adaptable and resilient mindset but also carve out a path that is uniquely yours, guided by a constellation of carefully selected beliefs that truly work for you.