Slow, Gradual Path Toward Intentional Living
My journey from a headless chicken to reclaiming my life.
Imagine you live in a fast-paced environment where everything instantly demands your attention. You jump from one call to another every 30-60 minutes, responding to multiple chats on your Slack account while chatting about your weekend plans with your friends on the WhatsApp group. But, when you have time to take a breath, you turn your attention to open your phone to see what your friends are doing on the IG story, tricking your mind into rest only to realize that you are moving one attention to another.
When you arrive home, you have dinner on your laptop while watching a Netflix series, hoping to distract yourself from work. When you are about to sleep, you must still answer your colleagues about the incident earlier in the day. And, your best friend sends you a trendy thread on Twitter about a new propaganda that catches your attention. Frustrated with your busy life, you start to think about finding another job but decide not to because you are unsure if that is the real solution.
That's how I lived a few years ago, like a headless chicken, reacting to what the world expected of me without knowing where my destination was. I felt powerless for not having intentionality in my life, as if I was controlled by something out there that dictated how I should have spent my time.
As I reflected on how my days and years went by, I thought this was the reality of living in a modern and noisy world where everything is instantly connected yet messy.
People believe that the best invention of the 20th century was the internet, which allowed us to access information on the tip of our thumb and enabled us to explore more options. Yet many of us have lost the ability to choose what's best and let the world do it for us.
We keep repeating the same pattern over and over again.
We move jobs more often than ever to chase more money and higher titles, hoping we will be happier, yet we are not.
We scroll TikTok for three hours straight and stare at how amazing our friends' vacations are on Instagram instead of connecting with people by doing meaningful activities.
We adopt every new diet program, workout routine, and self-improvement tactic to ensure we live our best without considering whether these are sustainable and right for us.
All these are merely distractions that separate us from the life we truly want if only we listen, stop blindly following society, take charge of our lives, inject them with a dose of intention, and commit to ending this reactive living.
"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates.
I believe self-reflection and intentional living are essential to changing our lives. They have shifted my perspective from being a passenger in the car's back seat to a driver who can control speed and steer in the right direction. They have opened my third eye to the fact that life isn't happening to me but is happening for me. I no longer feel powerless and have started to make changes that will lead me to my destination.
I used to wake up feeling tired every morning until I put boundaries on my work and phone usage the night before. I lacked energy throughout the day, so I worked out almost every morning and limited my caffeine intake to avoid crashes in the afternoon. I added "Focus Time" to my work calendar to protect my time from random calls from my colleagues. I lost focus because I kept shifting my attention to another until I limited my social media usage to only 20 minutes a day. By doing it, I realize I have more time for myself.
Making life changes and injecting intentionality doesn't have to involve drastic changes like quitting a job, radical weight loss, starting a full-time business, uninstalling social media, living off-grid in a van, or stopping consuming alcohol.
It is a slow, gradual process for me. It doesn't come all at once like an epiphany, nor is it the result of hitting rock bottom and rising from the ashes. Instead, it comes from a gentle whisper within me that I allow myself to listen to, reminding me repeatedly to lead the life I want to be. I plant the seed, water it, and nurture it slowly. As the seed grows gradually, I can see myself growing similarly, making me happy and optimistic about my life. Of course, there are days when I don't feel like doing it, but I remind myself to rise again every time I fall. Making life changes takes time, and I know I'm doing it for the long haul.
Our world can be pretty noisy and overwhelming, and it's easy to feel like we have lost control over our lives. However, we don't have to be like headless chickens, wandering without a clear destination. We can take charge of our lives and make slow but gradual changes that we will be proud of in the future. It's important to remember that change doesn't happen overnight, but with perseverance and determination, we can turn things around and live a more fulfilling life.
Thank you to Write of Passage friends who make writing more fun: , Aleena Vigoda, Michael Ficther, Viktor Tabori, Mishaal Patel, Ripsy Bandourian, Roxanne Franz, Ian Black, and Justin Nothling.
I love this piece. so many important ideas shared here. 'We can take charge of our lives and make slow but gradual changes that we will be proud of in the future.' reminds me of a quote from The Minimalists: “The most genuine way to live is to align your short-term actions with your long-term values. You want to make your future self proud of your present self.”
I'm already excited to see your next piece!
Really resonate with this:
"It is a slow, gradual process for me. It doesn't come all at once like an epiphany, nor is it the result of hitting rock bottom and rising from the ashes. Instead, it comes from a gentle whisper within me that I allow myself to listen to, reminding me repeatedly to lead the life I want to be."
Weirdly it reminded me of a piece I wrote last year about how I approach creativity/writing with patience like planting little seeds and growing them into tall redwood trees -- slowness and intention, I'm all about it!
https://sundaycandy.substack.com/p/sunday-candy-beyond-the-canopy
Great essay! :)